It is not difficult to explain your depressed state to people. I find it impossible. Even to my husband, who'd been there through every angry and desperate tear. I think it's a bit like Disneyland. If you've never been there - you won't be able to imagine the full scale of it. It's a feeling of total loss of control over your life. It's living in a permanent cloud of despair, guilt and anger (please tick as applicable). Sometimes you are not sure if you are going to make it till the end of the day. Sometimes you wonder what's going to happen to your baby if you are not there for her. Sometimes you realize that you have a healthy beautiful baby and a husband and a house and you feel overwhelmingly guilty for thinking all of the above when there are parents there with real problems, sick children, no home. And this guilt triggers a massive panic attack and you are scared that someone up there hears your thoughts and is going to take all you have away from you for being so ungrateful. And you cry. Again and again and again. There is no rhyme or reason to depression. It's just ....There.
My blog is about different things - fashion, tea, coping with depression. After all - we, the depressed can be a bit inconsistent at times. Please don't expect us to make sense.